Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Initially I started this blog for my daughters to read, when they are able to read. But with the increasing number of entries, I sensed the intended readers shifted to my silent readers, or at least I have some. And with this is mind, I manipulated the way I write. Not that the entries weren’t true, but I tried to show the good parts, leaving out the ‘Mak Tiri’s part of me (read:Mak Tiri in Cinderella fairy tale). I did raise my voice over my daughters when they purposelessly spilt the milk on newly mopped floor. I did bribe them just to ensure they eat the greens. I did buy bucket of KFCs whenever I feel like not cooking. The only good thing is I never hit them.
Thus (I always feel this word ‘thus’ is excessively scholarly word), the confusion hits me. Should I privatize my blog, or shouldn’t I? This unstable state of mind leave out my blog with spider webs (direct translated: Oh sudah lama blog ni ditinggalkan, dah bersawang). Another thought hits me, I have my favorite readers who love me the way I am, be it Mak Tiri or Mak Tak Tiri, so it is unjust for me to ignore them. Then comes the ‘riya’ part, the scariest part. What the readers translated is what I scared the most. No, no, no! That is not the scariest! The thing inside me is. Even with initial good intention of the entry, I still cannot manage my mind and thought when them good readers said good things about my daughters, and sort.
The point is, do I really have readers? And that smacked me back. I hope I have fewer than few. This thought soothes me. I can then write freely. I have few activities with them lately and I need to write for them to read, when they are able to read. But with all the aforementioned (another scholarly word) confusions, I hold back.
Now, define your objective.
Oh, of confused mind!