Pray for all mothers

I am a mother of three little misses.  They are 4, 2, and 1 years old.  They definitely need my great fat intention and love.  I am a student too.  And so, I am juggling between changing diapers and finding novelty for my research.  It is not easy I tell you.  But I enjoy this so much, and of course there were times when I wasn't.  I have unsettled issues with myself.  I have listed them in numbers which I hope they will drop off one day.

1. I chose preparing meal over phonics classes

• I have to give them good food, and so I cook.  Of course we had our KFCs' times, but now I have a solution for a good fried chicken.  I use "Serbuk Ayam Goreng Adabi" and they just love their drummets even more.  I seriously need to cook because I pour love into the meals and add up some doa.  Do you think they cook with love in Kayu Nasi Kandaq?  The issue is, I need to give up teaching them ABCs over cooking.  I seriously didn't have much time.  Prep at 7 pm, dinner at 8 pm, clean up done at 9 pm.  Mind you the cleaning up takes 1 hour or more.  They dined at their own, they definitely have their fork and spoon wars, the drummets wars, the littlest girl, Iyra, dining on the high chair, pouring the porridge and drink on the floor.  Get the clearer picture by visualizing it.  Try.  After 9, everybody readies for bed.  And where is the time for phonics?  I blame myself.  I want to be a great mother.  But I chose cook over book.  

2. I hardly have bedtime storytelling

• They have 103 books.  Yes, and they still didn't reach 5 years old yet.  Quantity doesn't count, but quality. I would read whenever I had extra protein in my body.  If not, I would sleep at 10 pm, flat.  

3. I need Youtube and Nickelodeon

• I hate TV.  I wish I didn't have one.  I hardly resist the help of Nickelodeon, especially when I'm in maid mode.  While I'm washing, cleaning, mopping, and scouring, the girls occupying themselves with Little Bill and Max & Ruby.  How I wish I can be their Ruby every minute and second.  

4. I chose conventional diapers over clothes diapers

• I feel guilty if their diapers are fancier than their dresses.  No offence to CD babies, go green!

5. They only have one pair of Trudy&Teddy each

• When I was 17, I wish my future children will have closets full of GAPs, Oshkoshs and PumpkinPatchs.  But you know, I need to multiply by three.  One Trudy&Teddy costs me RM120.  Three pairs would cost me my arms.  Four time shopping would leave me disabled.

6.  I don't trust maid

• Those whose concern have suggested a maid for me.  Thanks but no, thanks.  I know my house chores would be much lesser and I can do all of the above but I only have ugly pictures about this thing, leaving my girls with maid.  I have Allah, I hope that would be more than enough.  

These, would be never settled.  I, for once, have received few praises on raising a family (hey Firdaus, this goes to you too!), but all I need is your doa.  Say this with close eyes and take a deep breath.

"Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusannya.  Amiin."