Feeling Good

I'm not so of an avid reader, but I do read at least six books a month (textbook doesn't count). I was previously so much into self-help books authored by many non-Muslims. One thing I grasped from these kind of books is that they tend to help us to be the best in this world, that our life is once, so we better grab it or lose it. They emphasized that life is the one and only chance for us to strive for worldly gain, and never did they mentioned about the life we will have after death. And honestly, I kept all the good tips and tricks from the books to ensure that I gain as much as possible in this life; to be the best in everything. And they kept mentioning that the good things come from our hard or smart struggling, never did they mention that there is a great and only power who is in charge of everything, Allah the Source of Strength. 

Along the journey as a reader, I felt confused and perplexed sometimes, especially when I failed to get what I want after the hard work. I blamed myself for not doing it right. I questioned God why this happened to me? There were several miserable events which left me in total despair. I then referred back to the books, and they mentioned "You are the one who decide to be happy or to be sad." You. The word is you. That means I have to take all the blames. And it saddened me even more.

Just a few months ago, I have the feeling to switch my reading lists, to read more on the authors who have the same faith with me, Islam. I gave it a try. Once, I felt that this so-called Islamic books will leave me more confused and they only designed for Islamic scholars or intellectuals. I was wrong. They are indeed true self-help books. The authors emphasized that everything is in Allah's knowledge. They convinced this with the ayahs from the last survival kit (as I call it)-the Quran. And slowly I obtain the understanding that only Allah is in charge of everything. And starting from the first day I started to collect and read Islamic books, I felt so good I have no words to describe. Proclaiming it out loud, I make a doa to Allah, "Ya Allah, lead me to good books." (Sometimes Allah leads me to children books, he-he).

But as a self-proclaimed book lover, I didn't hate any books, be it authored by Muslims or non-Muslims. All books leave me with something to ponder, to reflect. Perhaps the major thing I didn't agree is that they tend to say that we only have one life, which is totally not true. We are actually start to live right after our last breathe on this life. The life in the Hereafter is true and eternal. However, the place for us to stay in the next life is determined from our deeds in current life. Allah has offers us two places to stay, Neraka or Syurga. Both places are places of no return. O Allah, forgive our sins as you are the Most Oft-Forgiving. 

I hope my words will give something good. Insya Allah.

xoxo,

yoursisterinfaith